There. It. Is.
This trip broke the new car in. It was bound to happen right. Puke, pee, slobber, dog hair, mud, chocolate you know. WTF, why on earth did we buy a brand new car? Right? I was totally thinking the same thing. However, the new car was awesome to say the least. Plenty of room for everyone, comfortable seats. I have no complaints so far. I do foresee, the bigger kid outgrowing the back eventually. However he is the middle child, poor kid. He will more than likely be shoved into the very back for years to come. The little one get too sick too fast in the car, and the big one is, well... the queen. She won't be sitting back there any time soon.
Clearly, we took a road trip.
This trip was long over due. We hadn't been "home" for quite a while.
It's weird going back somewhere you haven't been in so long. You totally know where you are but, do you know where you are? Everything was different in a not so great way. Parks where my kids once played are littered with bums and addicts. The truth of the matter is, I probably at one time knew that dude sleeping on the park bench. Or even that one sleeping in the grassy area in front of the grocery store. Seriously, its bad that these people have no where else to go.
When you go back to a place that was once all you ever knew, it's strange. I guess it's strange because it's been so long. 10 years is a long long time. My kids hadn't seen their great grandparents since they were tiny. The little one didn't even exist back then. The older kids are teenagers now, different people to say the least. Needless to say it was like meeting people for the first time.
I learned our life is so much better than what it would have been if we stayed. I'm grateful for this gypsy soul. I do tend to wander, never staying put. However roots are always something worth holding onto. Family is important, bottom line. However, I do not see us living in the area were from when this gypsy life comes to an end. My kids will never ride their bikes to grandmas after school. We will never have weekly family dinners, or spend every holiday with our extended family. I have to be okay with that, and I am.
I have enormous gratitude for the life I live. Sometimes I tend not to show it, however seeing what might have been on the face of my once childhood friend. The look in his eye, the sadness... It haunts me. I feel for him for his child and the life they are living. Things should have been different for him, however they are not. This was all to often the case as we made our way through our hometown.
Seeing what inevitably could have been our life has opened my eyes in a huge way. I am eternally grateful for my husband and the life he has worked so hard to provide for this family. We are the lucky ones. We may not have everything we have ever wanted but we have more than we have ever needed. I am so grateful for that.
I need to repeat this quote over to my self.
Joy is the simplest form of gratitude.
Be grateful for what you have. Some people are fighting to survive.
Until next time loves!